Chapter 4. Pride.

Hey, What's Up You Guys?! 

If you didn't read that in Shane Dawson's voice and imagine him doing the intro for his videos, then you need to stop reading about my boring life and go watch any of Shane Dawson's YouTube videos. (preferably start off with one of his DIY's or Life Hack videos). You won't be disappointed.. and if by some chance you are disappointed, keep clicking on those life hack videos, and if you don't laugh uncontrollably during at least one of them then you have no sense of humor and we can't be friends..... Totally kidding.

Anyway..... Like I mentioned in my last post I have a lot of catching up to do, and I've been procrastinating on writing, because I didn't know where to start. I still don't really know where to start, but I'm just going to go for it..

If you've read my "Discovering Me" series then you're well aware of the break up I experienced months ago. Part of the reason that I started writing that series is because after I broke up with this guy that I had become so dependent on, I knew that I had a lot of growing to do. I hope this isn't going to sound cringy or narcissistic, but I wanted to be able to write about my struggles and how I was overcoming them, so that one day I could look back and see where I started and where I ended up. 

I've expressed before how scary it was for me to move back to school and live without someone that was constantly by my side. In fact, that was one of the first conversations I had with my mom after my ex-boyfriend and I broke up. I told my mom that I didn't know how I was going to go back to school and live on my own. She told me "Go back for this semester, if you're miserable when it's over, we'll bring you home." Honestly though, by the time the fall semester had ended, I didn't even remember that conversation. 

After my classes started back for the fall semester, I started finding my own way in life pretty quickly. I started getting to know myself as an individual, which is a version of myself that I hadn't met yet. I found a routine for myself. I was going to the gym 2-3 times a week and attending a yoga class twice a week. 

OH! I also helped plan and set up the second baby shower for my nephew. 

I even held my own during two hurricanes! 

October rolled around and the best thing that could have happened to me entered this world. My nephew made his debut on October 6th and that filled a hole in my life that I didn't even know existed. After he was born, I spent less time at the gym/yoga, and more time helping the new parents out. Mid October was also the time my seasonal job started kicking back up with Halloween. 

In November, my seasonal job was in full blast with Santa's wonderland. Not to mention, while being a part time elf, I was also a full time student, and an on call baby sitter. So I was fairly busy, but enjoying every second of it. Working as an elf this past year, I made some friends that I hope will always be a part of my life.   

December finally came around, and finals mixed with snowstorms had me constantly stressing out. Fortunately for me, I passed all my classes, despite Jack Frost nipping at my nose (literally, as I walked to class in below freezing weather to get to my 8am exams). As my year winded down, I hung up my elf apron, said goodbye to my elf family, packed some clothes and spent Christmas with good people/family(including my sweet, precious, nephew).

Everybody was saying goodbye to their 2018 and embracing 2019. Which lead me to stop and look back at how much I grew as a person during the last few months of 2018. It may not seem like a lot from a distance, but to me I have so much to be proud of myself for. I did something that 5 months ago I didn't think I was going to be able to do. Not only did I do it, I enjoyed every second of it. 

So, my concluding advice for this post is to have faith in yourself. Let yourself experience pain, heartbreak, grief, and be scared and nervous but don't let those things hold you back or define you. Lastly, every once in a while take a moment and reflect on all the things you've done, be proud of how far you've made it, and let that fuel your motivation to keep going.

As always, 

Thanks for reading, 

Until next time, 

K

*Model Credit: Ladyinthought*