Discovering Me.... Again.

The Beginning 

I don't really know how to begin this. Ironic because I titled this "The Beginning". I guess I could say "Welcome Back" for the one millionth time. I could apologize for my excessively long absence, but lets be honest no one other than my best friend (who I will probably force to read this so that I can receive her praise) will actually read this. So why don't I just jump right in? 

Recently, my mind has been cluttered with too many of my thoughts. Usually this would prompt me to get out my favorite pen and my favorite journal and write away.. Stefan Salvatore and Elena Gilbert Style. (If you know you know). But my brain typically thinks faster than my hand can write. So I decided to try revisiting this plat form and using it as a space to put my thoughts. I started this blog in my early twenties in hopes of becoming a "famous blogger". That I could share my experiences and inspire other people. I'm now aware that people don't like to read. They would rather watch a Youtube video or tik toks. Something that I lack confidence to do. So again, I'm aware no one will probably read this (except my bestie who better give my a high rating), but I'm also aware that once I click post that even though it's unlikely, anyone and everyone who wants to can read all of my embarrassing thoughts (and see my awful grammar). So to any future dating contenders, if you're reading this (which you probably aren't) I hope this doesn't scare you away. 

Like I said, I started this blog in my early twenties. I was full of hope and wonder. All around I was just really naïve. I thought life had a straight map drawn out. Graduate high school, go to college, graduate college, start my career, get married, have kids, happily ever after. Once again the joke was on me. First of all, I graduated college in the start of a freaking pandemic. Out of all the achievements in my life that I was most excited for I was really looking forward to celebrating finishing undergrad. It wasn't easy for me. If you've read my earlier writings you know why. But I was proud. Finishing college was an end of an era for me and I didn't even get a graduation. I didn't walk across stage and have my diploma handed to me as I shook the hand of a stranger that I had never even met but yet claimed to be so proud of me. I guess that was foreshadowing that you really can't expect things to follow a plan. 

Once college was over I didn't really have a plan for my life. I knew I needed Grad school, but the thought of more classes actually made me want to find a very high bridge and fling my self so far off of it. I didn't have experience to start a career. Plus did I mention we were in the start of a freaking pandemic? I was supposed to be locked in my house not building my future. So I did what any mid twenty year old with a very small savings and no life experience would do. I moved back home. 

I also went back to my small job helping run a non-profit aquarium. A job that I actually enjoyed and it brought me a great sense of pride. But the sad and simple fact is that I couldn't afford to create a life for myself with the pay. So I decided on Grad school and eventually found myself a 40 hour a week job with benefits that also provided me experience in the field of study I was going into. 

Somewhere in all of this becoming an "adult" I decided that I wanted to try "dating" again. So I put myself back out there the only way an introverted girl knew how. Online dating. Which have left me with 0 relationships and tons of lessons learned. 

Which brings us to where I am now. You're all caught up on the major life events that have occurred in the past year. But along with all of these life event's came self growth and a stronger sense of self awareness. I've learned more about myself in this last year than I ever have. You know how they say that your skin cells regrow every 7 years or however long it is? I feel like every so often I become a new version of myself. I'm finally starting to understand that I'm constantly evolving. It's okay that what I believed and valued 5 years ago isn't what I believe and value now. 

Thus I decided to start the Discovering Me series all over again. But this time I'll be writing about my self growth and self discoveries as I navigate this whole "adult-hood" thing. 

Welcome along my journey. 

Until Next Time, 

Kay