Discovering Me Chapter 3

* Sorry it's been a couple of weeks since I last posted. I've had an extremely difficult time deciding how to write chapter 3 of my discovering me series. The first two chapters were a day by day of what I was going through with my break up and I've had a hard time trying to decide if I want to do another post following the next day of the break up or skip ahead to the part where I don't sound redundant talking about being heartbroken and scared. However, a good friend gave me some great advice (once again) and told me that this was my story and I should tell what's important to me, and I feel like the first 48 hours of my break up are very important in telling my story. So if you're reading this, hang in there. This is the Chapter about the last of the first 48 hours of being freshly single.*

The Last of the Frist 48 Hours 

Have you ever been hiking on a trail that was really strenuous and had little scenery, and you wondered why you wanted to put yourself through all the pain of hiking up a steep mountain on a trail that wasn't  smooth, just to see trees? The entire time you were trekking up the mountain you just wanted to turn around and go back to the comfort of your couch and watch Netflix, while binge eating one (maybe two) whole pizzas? But once you finally reached the end of the trail, or reached the top of the mountain, and you looked out on the gorgeous overlook, you realized what you would have missed out on if you had turned back or not even embarked on this journey at all.

… 

Less than 48 hours after my break up I was going to Charlotte with my mom to pick up the keys to my new apartment, and then I was heading a few more hours down the road to go to a baby shower celebrating the arrival of my first nephew. It was all a little overwhelming to be experiencing while still feeling the pains of heartbreak.  

My mom and I were sitting at a table with my apartment owners getting ready to sign papers and get my keys. I was so grateful to have my mom there because she likes to do all the talking. Which was great for me, because I was in the process of fighting back tears and trying not to have a panic attack in front of the apartment owners, and the other students also picking up their keys (students that could be potential neighbors and be a little worried to be living next to the crazy girl who freaked out on key pick up day). Picking up my keys meant it was happening. Living in an apartment with 3 strangers and learning to be alone was real. Not having someone to be by my side all the time was real. I couldn't turn back. 

I made it through the meeting without having a panic attack. After I got my keys my mom and I went up to check out my apartment. I was a little apprehensive about going to see it because I didn't know the names of the girls I would be living with until that day. So I hadn't contacted to let them know I was stopping by and was terrified they would be mad that a strange girl and her mom were in their apartment. 

However, I gave in and went to see my apartment. Only one of my roommates was home at that time. She was super nice and I instantly knew I was going to like her. The apartment was basically fully furnished (except for my room), thanks to another one of my amazing roommates (who I would meet later). Even though my room was empty I already loved it, and was planning where all my furniture and decorations would go. When I left the apartment that day, the best way I can explain how I felt was, hopeful. I got extremely good vibes from the apartment and the roommate I met. Which made me feel like everything was going to be alright once I moved in.

Even though I was feeling less overwhelmed when I left the apartment, I still wasn't feeling great. At least not great enough to go spend the next couple of hours pretending not to be heartbroken during a happy celebration. It wasn't that I wasn't excited to be celebrating the future arrival of my nephew but the feelings heartbreak were more over powering at the time. 

Once again, the day proved me wrong and the baby shower ended up being a good way to spend the last of my first 48 hours being freshly single. While my sister in law was opening her gifts, it occurred to me that I would only be living in Charlotte for about a month and a half before my nephew would be here. I had something to look forward to. I realized that because I only live a short distance away from my brother and sister in law, my nephew would get to be a big part of my life. If it wasn't for living in Charlotte I wouldn't have as many opportunities to do all kind of fun aunt things. Since that day and realization I have hated being in Charlotte a little less. 

Anyway, the point of this story is that I was on a trail that was steep and unsteady. It was a rough hike and I wanted so bad to be able to turn back. Even though I haven't made it all the way to the top of the mountain yet, I found a little pull off with a great view. I saw a future of being happy living in a cute apartment, with amazing roommates, and becoming an aunt for the first time. I was lucky I got the chance to see this view, it showed me what I have to look forward to as long as I keep hiking up the mountain. 

As always, 

Thanks for reading 

and for your patience while I write this series 

Until next time

Kay